original sin

i insulted my brother. it all started with a scuffle. i was glued to the comp. he pulled me out of my computer seat. it was the way he jerked me out which really hurt me. so i lashed back at him. i called him a loser. i told him what his real standing in life actually was.
for a moment. i heard him cry his heart out. that really melted me .
i am so sorry brother. it shouldnt have turned out this way.

Just one Question

I am overwhelmed by the booty that you have showered upon me -- oh god. I feel extremely grateful and highly obliged to have received such bounty.
but there's a question, god-- which i would like to pose to you. Why is the world such an evil place. or is it just my perspective that's wrong. or maybe i am the odd one out to have faced the harshest consequences.
Whichever be true, Oh god, i entreat you to answer to my question. why are their so many sarcastic sods loitering around, and why do good things keep happening to them ? why is everyone so filled with ego and bloated with arrogance?
Why do people envy each other? why do people feel jealous of each other's success. these are some of the questions that demand answers. and i know i started with just one question and ended up asking many. but , please be gracious My Lord. I NEED ANSWERING!
God Bless Everyone.

Oh My GOD

I really dont know whether i am qualified to write this post but this is all in wanna state: god you are great. in fact u are the greatest. you tests our patience to the limit--and then you reward us. you are very just. Justice delayed is not always justice denied.
I submit myself to you oh god. you are the saviour of mankind. i feel guilty for having doubted your relevance for some time.
god has his own pecuiliar ways of rewarding people. he tests their patience by passing them through trials and tribulations. it is only when a person can withstand the debilitating effects of time, does god give him his just desserts.
it pays to have faith in a higher invisible force.

The Taps Syndrome

I call it the Taps Syndrome cuz i feel like crying all day all night long. My heart is so welled up with sorrows that i feel i cannot hold it any longer.
There are some unsavoury incidents that take place. Although they take place only once in the real world, they keep repeating themselves like stuck videotapes in the mental world.
I know this aint a very sunny scenario. But this gives me much cause for grief. I feel down and depresed most of the time. Its like living a nightmare.
I heard in a newspaper column that some people can effectively train their minds to think along specific lines. Wish it were the case with me. I am a 'free flow' person with little discipline or control over one's mind. Yipes.

When Will Life Improve

These are the words that ring loudly in my head as i type away at my keyboard.
When Will Life Improve? WHEN OH WHEN? Everyone has a capacity for failures. I have my own.
Despite facing the many setbacks in my life, i have waged a lonely war on a very singular front. I may have lost many a battle and i may have lost many a turf, but i think the war is far from being won. I still wage a war in the hope of a more positive outcome. I do not care what these battles lead upto. I concern myself with my belligerence only.
For how long, a man imagines, can one afford to take up the gun when the ammunition is only limited. This recurring fear is a nagging concern to my mind. Here the gun refers to the wits whereas the ammunition to the confidence. Even battle tanks fail when a man is robbed of his self-confidence. There must be a continuous fount of inspiration that must supply man his confidence.
All sources of inspiration run dry when tragedies befall man. It is only then when the man must muster up all the courage that he hath, else he must submit himself to the vagaries of destiny.

Hurt Puppy

I know its been a long time since i blogged. I just hope i am able to write just as well.
To begin with, i really dont know what to type away at my keyboard. Currently, i am just staying put in my home, waiting anxiously for my examination results to be announced. Its been a long wait uptil now.
Hey, i wanted to discuss another matter with you guys. What are your first reactions when someone smaller in age misbehaves with you? The misbehviour might not be a direct confrontation. It may be quite indirectly done so as to show your position in relation to him/her.
Success is what separates two individuals. A successful sister may fail to reckon with her not-so-successful brother. She may then try to assert her 'higher' position by making insinuations against one.
All this hurts. One is unable to reconcile with the misbehaviour of someone much smaller in years.

Private Emotions, Public Forum

Privacy should enjoy its own respect. With so many intruders around, it sometimes becomes difficult to defend your own private space. This blogger has been a serious victim of the violation of privacy.

Blogging anonymously has enormous benefits. No one is there to keep tabs on you. You may simply type away at your own discretion without ever having to bother what anyone would ever think. You are invisible to the outside world!

But wait. There's a negative too. You are like the masked superhero who never gains public recognition for what he does. What good is saving the world if you are busy only saving your face!

But who can deny the cathartic experience of an unrestrained blog. Clinical psychology, for one, supports it. Pent-up emotions and feelings buried deep inside you must come up once in a while upto the surface. Expression is always better than repression.